Monday, April 2, 2007

Monday Show and Tell: The Uncyclopedia

I was surfing the internet this weekend searching for a name for my new betta fish. Somehow, while typing the phrase "Dr. Seuss fish names" into Yahoo, I stumbled across the Uncyclopedia, which dubs itself as "the content free encyclopedia that anyone can edit," and its entry on fish. Think wikipedia, but pulled through a wormhole and back; basically wiki meets The Onion, only weirder. Delighted and tickled pink, I found my way to the article on photography, which I will quote below - I hope you have a good laugh. I found one comment on this entry that will help set the mood: "An article on Photography without photos. Excellent."

Without further ado, here are some selections from the article on photography.

Photography was invented in the 10th Century AD.
Photography is a style of ultra-realist art which became popular during the invention of Myspace. Or, as my aunt says, photography is "nudie pictures".

==The War of Photographic Aggression==
During the twentieth century photography fought a bloody battle with non-realist styles of painting such as expressionism and cartoons. It is widely believed to have been one of the bloodiest wars in human history, involving many humans rights abuses on either side. One of the most notorious was the genocide of blue paint, after it declared allegiance to post-cartography (an anti-realist form of cartography once used by the Ordinance Survey). This war is often called The War of Photographic Aggression, but is known as The Cubist War in some parts of rural Angola....

Photography usually begins with a sketch, made by an incredibly small artist inside a metal or plastic box. This sketch is then taken to a printing lab where it is elaborated by a larger, and consequently more skilled, artist. The larger artist is able to add colours, something which can't fit inside the small box. The small artist uses a complex shading method to denote the colour which the large artist should add.

==Digital photography==
Recent developments in artistic training have lead to digital photography. This is a form of photography in which the large artist is replaced by a medium-sized artist who can fit inside a home PC. The reason this is now possible is that the training of medium-sized artists no longer involves cutting off their fingers (or digits) hence the name digital photography.

==The Death of Photography==
It is expected that photography will die out sometime in the twenty-second century due to either heart failure, or the superiority of Neo Soviet Realism.

== See also ==
[[War of Photographic Aggression]]
[[Focus on the Family]]
[[Black and White]]
[[Modern photography]]

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It seems clear to me that *nobody* is more qualified to expand upon this entry than you are, Leslie. I'm here to help. [dk]