Salvation is here!
Feeling inarticulate? Critically gauche? Or just verbally impotent?
We here at Pixmaven have developed The Instant Art Critique Phrase Generator so you need never again feel at a loss for pithy commentary or savvy "insights." With this device you can speak about Art with both authority and confidence. Use this marvellous tool to amaze and confound friends and colleagues. Don't miss this opportunity to menace and dumbfound professors and artists emeriti!
The instructions are simple -- type any five digit number in the field below, click 'Create,' and enjoy your ready-made Critical Response to the Art Product (or CRAP).
Now you can produce CRAP critiques as easily and fluently as anyone in your MFA program!
Some of my results:
"It should be added that the reductive quality of the purity of line seems very disturbing in light of the eloquence of these pieces."
"With regard to the issue of content, the mechanical mark-making of the gesture makes resonant the substructure of critical thinking."
"I'm troubled by how the internal dynamic of the spatial relationships threatens to penetrate the eloquence of these pieces."